In honor of the now wildly popular linkbait titles ’Top 10 things you don’t know about Mexico’ and ‘I went to Mexico, but you won’t believe what happened next!’…
I give you my 13 things I found entertaining-hilarious-disturbing-amusing while spending my Spring Break in Cancun, Mexico!
1. Using chip-and-pin credit card readers.
Dear USA, hurry up already!
2. Incorrectly completed customs forms.
Dear lady, Caucasian is not a nationality.
3. Everyone now owns a DSLR now.
Still makes your 13-year old daughter posing in the ocean like a swimsuit model creepy.
4. Like father, like son.
I now know where you ‘bro-ness’ comes from, dude.
5. Like mother, like daughter.
You’re 50 now. I don’t want to see that. Ever.
6. Dry-humping an ATM doesn’t work.
Srsly. Go home bro, you’re drunk.
7. The beer is cheaper than water.
Kinda like France with wine… but less classy.
8. The ability to lie on a beach chair for 9 hours.
I went swimming in the ocean, for a 2 mile walk, shopping, ate lunch, played a soccer game, showered, AND YOU’RE STILL THERE.
9. Bikini tops made of tassels are apparently in.
So. Much. Bouncy.
10. Yes, you, the two topless girls at my hotel.
Still so confused.
11. Drunk mothers.
That advice you just gave your 16-year old daughter, loudly, at the restaurant. Yeah, no.
12. Fast shuttle drivers.
Take speed limit sign, multiply by two, and drive!
13. Cancun is not a complete shitstorm over spring break.
I know, shocking.
Really I just spent the week relaxing on the beach and reading a book.
So there was nothing to write home about.