I had a hard time picking a topic for this week’s essay. A lot has been going through my mind the past couple of weeks and it has been suppressing my creativity. I spent this weekend looking at the past 12 months of my life. It made me think even more about what I have accomplished, what I have tried to do, and what I still need to do.
I feel like I have hit a rut in my life, a early mid-life crisis you might say. Which is kind of ironic I think, because I just spent the past month and a half doing a complete 180 and moving. Clearly something is wrong.
For those of you that follow me regularly, you know that I recently moved to Denver, Colorado because of a new job I received. I chose this over moving to the UK because of the currently economic situation the world is in. I thought, it’s probably not the best idea to throw my full-time job and life away to move on a whim, with no prospect of employment or life after post-grad school in another country. This week was supposed to be my moving week there, and I wonder, did I make the right choice?
While I love my currently job, I sadly have never seem myself as a eight-to-fiver (a person that works the typical work schedule). I love traveling and adventuring too much. Which I find it funny that I seem to be taking the safe way out in life, working the good paying job in a stable location and limiting my adventures. But as someone told me today at work, they wish they were 23 again so they could enjoy life more. So why am I doing being the old man already.
It probably has something to do with the condition the world is in today. I have dozens of friends unemployed or moving back in with their parents. Many are just falling further into debt because they are heading to grad school and accumulating more loans; simply because they had a better chance getting into school than job.
That makes me wonder, while I look at a steady job as a limitation to adventure, it really should be a pathway to allowing me to do more. I have an income and a base camp to set off from, while I might not have too many days off I have an income to support weekend getaways, and I never have to worry about homework.
I have also talked and fought with my best friend over this. And I wonder sometimes if I am sometimes just looking for too much of a radical change. My old boss’s catch line echos in my mind – he always said, baby steps.
So why not just push the reset button on life.
Go back to how I was looking at life before I tired to go to post-grad school and before I started the massive job hunt. Back when I started my first full-time job out of uni and was enjoying the freedom of no homework and a much larger income. Back when getting sleep was optional and ending up in a random city for the weekend was considered a ‘best practice’.
This is not to say that I don’t want to add to my list of crazy adventures that I have defined me. I still want to couch surf across Europe and jet around the Pacific Rim. But I need to plan these long term goals; and have fun along the way, not regret the current situation.
So starting today, Monday 23 August 2010, I set a new goal in life. To always promise to use my currently life as a springboard into bigger and better things, and to only make major changes when that springboard needs to be replaced. I need to be defined by actions and not limited by my thoughts.
Today, I start over.